I wish you never made me all these promises.
To see the Northern Lights
To travel to Japan – where we both loved
To buy me a customised engagement ring – “white gold, with an emerald; I don’t believe in diamonds”
I wish you’d never driven us around in your electric blue hatchback.
Held my right hand in your left the entire journey
Steal a quick kiss at every red light
And make ridiculous running commentaries while navigating the roads
I wish you never told me that I was special.
That I made all your previous what if’s disappear
That you were proud of me and how far I’ve come
That I should never stop being myself (“thank you for being so awesome”)
I wish you never said that you advocated open communication.
How you valued collaborative problem-solving
Talking things out
For what good were these words
When all I woke up to
Was your unilateral decision of goodbye?
I wish you’d given me the chance to listen
I wish you’d let me in
I wish you knew how much I was prepared to love you
I wish I could heal your heart.